I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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