you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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