she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
