I have demons in me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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