i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
