found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize