the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
