and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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