How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
