I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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