dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
