Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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