I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
