One girl and one boy is just not enough.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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