my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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