the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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