Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
