there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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