im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
