Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
