Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize