ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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