Kiss
Puke
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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