Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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