Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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