Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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