SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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