Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sext me about skeletons
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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