Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
