i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
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It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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