i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
