you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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