Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
