dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
