im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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