I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
