Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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