"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
well, you know. whores of a feather.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
