he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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