She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think people are normalizing furries
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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