i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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