Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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