It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
