I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
