soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
