porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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