I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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