p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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