he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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