Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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