This girl is more easily done than said...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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