Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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