So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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