She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
